What to Pass On Before You Pass On
Action Steps
The loved ones (Successors) responsible for handling everything after someone passes away may feel like there is a never-ending list of things to do. Sorting through legal matters, paying bills, and organizing the funeral while mourning can be overwhelming and lead to burnout. And well-meaning Successors may wonder if they’re doing everything “right,” or the way their loved one would have wanted.
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In this situation, it is normal to feel stressed or confused. In addition to grief and sadness, Successors may feel lonely, exhausted, worried or frustrated. If they were caring for a loved one during a long illness or period of gradual decline, they might even feel somewhat relieved that those duties have ended – and then feel guilty about feeling relieved. That, too, is normal. Successors may need a bit of grace to just feel what they feel.
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The sections below will guide you in making sure your Successors are prepared to handle the tasks that will be needed. Use these sections in any order that appeals to you. In addition to advice and information, each section includes offers of fillable worksheets you can purchase to document and customize your plans. Complete the worksheets bit by bit, over time. Consider letting your Successors help you gather the information and fill out the worksheets. While doing so, you can share your beliefs and family stories, your wisdom and life lessons.
Who Will Manage the Estate Plan?
Selecting someone to handle your estate is a major decision. Managing a Designer's estate can take anywhere from a few months to several years, depending on how complex it is. Simple estates might be handled within six months, but estates with issues like business interests, children from different marraiges, or assets in more than one state can take a year or longer. State-specific laws and family dynamics can also affect how long it takes to settle an estate.
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Why it Matters
​Selecting a Successor to handle your final wishes makes it more likely that your preferences and wishes will be respected, and that legal and financial matters will be handled well. Your "executor" will make sure final bills are paid, and that your belongings are distributed the way you want. Ideally, they will follow directions you have spelled out in a document such as a will, which should prevent disputes and confusion among people who care about you, making it easier for your loved ones to handle necessary tasks even while they are grieving.
Fortunately, the Successor you select can play a huge role in helping to organize your information, using worksheets available from this website.
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What You Can Do
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Write a will and let your Successors know where to find it. Also consider filing a copy with your local government's register of wills office.
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Use the Who Should Manage the Estate worksheet to help you decide which loved ones should play lead roles in executing your estate plan.
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Inform your loved ones who you have selected as executor.
As you think about how you want your assets distributed, remember that your decisions may affect your family members’ relationship with each other after you’re gone. If you feel comfortable doing so, consult them when deciding who will get what. Discuss what might be easiest or best for everyone. Once you make your decisions, consider informing relevant family members about those decisions.​​
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Ready to take action? Select your worksheets here.
Who Will Help You?
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Do you have good friends? Think about the quality of your relationships with relatives as well as with other people you know well. Do you feel comfortable calling on them for help? If you haven't done so, you should find ways to build positive, trusting relationships with people who live near enough to get to you when you need them. Because chances are that at some point, you will need them.
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​Why it Matters
As spry and healthy as you might be today, most people eventually need someone to take care of them, physically and/or emotionally. The caregivers might be your grown children, other family members, friends or paid workers. Ideally, they will be people who want to care for you rather than people who begrudgingly feel obligated to do so. And, ideally, there will be enough people in your circle that they can take turns so that none of them feels burdened or resentful about the caregiving. And so that you don’t feel guilty receiving their help.
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What You Can Do
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Develop a network of friends and family, preferably who can reach your home fairly easily, who can help you get to appointments, run errands, and care for you and/or your home.
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Make it as easy as possible for people to be supportive of you. Be a person they can rely on, a person they will want to help.
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Consider developing friendships with younger adults who may be more physically able than your peers to provide assistance.
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Use the Helpers worksheet to list people you feel comfortable asking for different kinds of help – physical assistance, financial aid, or emotional support. Include contact information and ways that specific people might help you.
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Share the list with a trusted Successor to make it easier for your helpers to contact each other to provide layers of caregiving when you need it.
Filling out the Helpers worksheet should either reassure you of the strength of your support network, or inspire you to develop a network you can rely on. Having this information readily available will make it easier for you or your Successors to reach out to helpers when needed.
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Ready to take action? Select your worksheets here.
Your Financial Accounts
Having your financial papers and account information organized gives clarity about income, bills and savings. Your Successors will use this information to manage financial matters when you are no longer able to do so. Making it easy for them to quickly access the information when the time comes should ease your mind as well as theirs.
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Why it Matters
At some point, someone will have to pay your final bills and close your accounts. They will need to apply for insurance benefits and stop retirement benefits. Having financial information neatly compiled and accessible will make it easier for Successors to handle your care if you become incapacitated, and to settle your estate when you pass away. Whether you compile the information on your own or in collaboration with your Successors, be sure to document it in a way that is simple for someone to navigate.
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What You Can Do
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Make sure a trusted Successor knows where you keep your financial records.
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Complete a Financial Accounts worksheet, listing information about any organization that sends you bills or payments, such as creditors, subscription services and employers. Also include information about your bank accounts. Fill the worksheet out a little at a time or set goals to complete a certain amount each day or week.
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Work on it alone or with a loved one who can assist. It might be particularly helpful to compile the information with the person who will handle your estate when the time comes.
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NOTE: I do not recommend including account passwords on the worksheet. If you have a hard copy file folder for each account, you can write the password for each account in the hard copy file folder. You can also store passwords in a password manager app, or make a list of them on paper, recognizing the need to keep the list safely secured. However you store passwords, make sure to share access information with the person who will handle your estate; online accounts could become locked or misused if your Successor cannot access and/or close them after you are gone. If you use multi-factor authentication, remember to also let a Successor know how to unlock your mobile phone and computer.
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Ready to take action? Select your worksheets here
Your Belongings
We all have things that are important to us personally. Some of these are expensive treasures or heirlooms. Other items may have little to no financial value but are important to us. Let your Successors know what you have and the financial and or emotional value of your belongings.
Why it Matters
There are items your Successors might want to keep in remembrance of you, especially if there is a poignant story attached to it. If you own things of monetary value, sharing that information with your Successors can help them decide what to keep, sell, give to charity or dispose of.
What You Can Do
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Give belongings to people or to charity now, while you are still in control of those decisions.
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Complete theTime to Remember Notable Artwork and Jewelry worksheet to enable your Successsors to see at a glance the worth and significance of items you value. On the worksheet, note when and where you acquired it, how much it cost and a brief description. If your loved ones help you add entries to the worksheet, you can use that time to tell them stories about what the items mean to you.
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On the Time to Remember Appliances/Electronics worksheet, list the major items in your home. This information will be very helpful to your Successors and their real estate agent if a decision is made to sell your home. Also list cell phones, computers, televisions, and other smart devices. Note where you have stored information that will be needed to access the devices when you are no longer able to provide passwords and answers to security questions.​
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NOTE: Information needed to actually sell your home, such as contact information for your lender or homeowners association, should be entered on the Time to Remember Financial Accounts worksheet. ​
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Ready to take action? Select your worksheets here
Planning for What Happens Next
Specify, in a caring way, what you want to happen and how it should play out.
Why it Matters
Gain comfort and satisfaction knowing your Successors will take care of final duties the way you want. Leave them with peace and clarity, and help avoid conflicts among people who care about you, by making your wishes plain and simple.
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​What You Can Do
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Work with your Successors to document your preferences.
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Use the Time to Remember People to Contact Upon My Death worksheet to identify family members, friends, clergy, employers and anyone else who should quickly receive the news of your passing. Also identify who should be contacted to care for any minor children, aging relatives, or pets that live with you.
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On the Time to Remember End-of-Life Planning Documents worksheet, list the names and locations of your will, burial plot deed, and/or other documents you create to design your final chapter.
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Consider writing your obituary, using the Time to Remember Obituary worksheet as a template. Most obituaries are written by family members, assisted by funeral directors. People who write their own typically want to make sure friends and family know what was important to them, and they want to control the official narrative of their lives. You can also use the worksheet to list things you want included in your obituary even if you don’t write it yourself.
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Ready to take action? Select your worksheets here