Plan Now, for Peace of Mind

​As a caring parent who loves her children deeply, I have always wanted to make sure they have all that they need to grow and thrive.  After (mostly) unconditionally loving them through infancy until adulthood, I want them to still feel the warmth of my love even when I’m no longer present to guide them. Ideally, they will remember the positive ways I made them feel, the confidence, compassion and resilience I’ve instilled in them –  as well as the skills and values I taught them.

Their father and I together raised our two children -- both girls -- until we divorced during their last years of high school. All in all, I devoted a good portion of my life preparing the girls to manage their own lives, and I am grateful that they still turn to me as they navigate adulthood.  My heart warms when they call me to catch up or ask for advice.

Now, divorced and in my late 60s, I am writing this when my children are in their 30’s, in hopes of preparing them to do the things that will eventually need to be done.

I am writing this when my children are in their 30’s, in hopes of preparing them to do the things that will eventually need to be done.

My children live hundreds of miles away from me, in different states. So, when we visit each other, we focus on fun and re-connection. We don’t have regular, informal Sunday dinners or other gatherings during which the subject of “here’s what you’ll need to know” comes up.

Will They Be Ready?

When the time comes, even though they may be in the midst of deep grief, my children will need to notify people, make funeral arrangements, close financial accounts, collect insurance, distribute, sell or dispose of my belongings, and find a way to move forward. So, I started creating the kinds of checklists and files that would have been immensely helpful as I managed the estate of my mother.

When my mother died in 2009, she had a few files on her computer that listed her insurance policies, doctors and friends’ contact information. I am being much more thorough documenting my own information. Things are more complicated than when my mother was alive. I now pay some of my bills online, some with automatic withdrawals from bank accounts. And I have a LOT more passwords and multi-factor identification guardrails that my daughter will have to navigate when dealing with my accounts. Using skills I developed as a journalist striving to make complicated subjects clear and simpe, I created downloadable, fillable worksheets to help my family.

Use the worksheets to help yours, too!